My brother didn’t want to see it. He had just arrived that afternoon and was able to spend several hours with our sister while she was still conscious.
He went to the front door to hold it open as the two workers wheeled the gurney out of the house. With my hands in gassho (palms together) and the ojuzu around them, I walked behind in the same manner as a minister following the coffin in a funeral recessional.
I wanted to keep my hands in gassho, but before leaving the house, the woman from the mortuary extended her hands to me. I let her take my one hand in hers. “Sorry for your loss,” she said. Then she did the same with my brother.
Namu Amida Butsu. Sorry – loss – ours.